Is there someone in your life who keeps crossing your boundaries? Are you ready to just cut them out of your life?
Before you go to extremes, as an emotionally responsible adult you have to be willing to have what can be an uncomfortable conversation about what is actually bothering you. This gives you an opportunity to heal and offers grace to the person who may not even know they are doing anything wrong. You’ve got to get granular about what it is that is prompting the need for you to set the boundary in the first place before you suddenly throw up a wall.
After all, boundaries are not demands or rigid rules which attempt to control other peoples’ behavior, they should be made out of love for both people. Practice them enough and soon you may find yourself as Chrystal says–un-f**k-with-able.
- “When we create a boundary, it’s made out of love for ourselves, because we are putting either energetic physical, verbal, mental, mental, emotional boundaries into place, out of love for ourselves. We want to protect ourselves, our space, our peace. But it can’t just be out of love for us. That’s what gets missed a lot of the time. I’m going to take care of myself, I’m protecting my peace, you’re out. What about love for the other person?” (3:53 | Chrystal)
- “What would that look like if I created this boundary out of love instead of fear?” (5:11 | Chrystal)
- “If we dig deep into them, why are we even setting them in the first place? What is the goal here and how is it that you feel? If it is rooted in insecurity, and if it’s rooted in fear, then that’s a really hard, difficult, but necessary conversation to have with the person you’re setting the boundary with.” (10:54 | Chrystal)
- “You are doing yourself a giant disservice if you just cut someone off because you are stifling your own opportunity for growth. Whenever someone pokes you energetically, whenever someone triggers you, or activates you, they are pointing to something that is going on inside of you.” (15:29 | Chrystal)
- “I’m telling you, it is such an incredible, amazing feeling when you’re standing there talking to someone who normally would be triggering the shit out of you and you just think, ‘Huh, I don’t even feel any activation in my body whatsoever. Like, this is pretty cool.” (20:40 | Chrystal)
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